Yes you’re right it isn’t normal. We’ve been in a pandemic for 5 years lol. Covid weakens the immune system leaving people vulnerable to catching and spreading other illnesses. And then we have kids and their parents packed into poorly ventilated buildings all day with zero protection in place. Studies show viral infections, as well as other harmful effects of indoor air pollution can be hugely reduced with very cheap simple measures such as air purifiers and even just keeping windows open lol. And more people wearing proper masks in hospitals, public toilets, supermarkets etc. all the information is there already we just need more people to care lol
Yeah I’ve seen some of the evidence on air purifiers in schools which seems really promising! And simple! I once visited a daycare center that had no windows. Every kids was obviously sick. I was like this is legal?
My grandma when she went to school and said that they always kept at least 1 window open in a classroom even in winter. And in their house, they always kept windows open to prevent spread of illness which seemed to help. My high school had a lot of classrooms with no windows, and the rooms with windows were not designed to be opened!
Wow that chart is WILD! I have seven kids and I'm scared to see what it would have for that line of the chart lol. But, the truth is, while I definitely notice a difference in viral illnesses in our home pre having children and post having children, I definitely don't notice my kids getting sick more often than families with fewer children. If anything I've noticed stronger immune systems in my kids and less instances of sickness as our family grows.
I also find that children with siblings fare way better in daycare than firstborns in not getting sick. My friends with less children share their experience of their children being sick every other week when they first start out at a new school. I think having babies that are exposed to siblings that already are bringing home everything in some ways makes the transition to daycare healthier and smoother.
Because I actually keep track of this for our family in a spreadsheet, I can tell you the breakdown this school year of days my kids were sick/missed school (this doesn't include a regular runny nose)
M (11yo female): Missed 0 days of school for illness, sick 0 times this year.
Z (9yo male): Missed 2 days of school for illness, sick 4 times this year.
A (7yo male) - Missed 0 days of school for illness, sick 3 times this year
E (5yo female) - Missed 1 day of school for illness, sick 1 time this year
C (4 yo male) - Missed 0 days of school for illness, sick 0 times this year (he has no tonsils or adenoids, I wonder if that's what protected him this year!)
A (2 yo female) - Missed 2 days of school for illness, sick 2 times this year
B (1 yo female) - Sick 3 times this year (all ear infections)
Maybe we are an anomaly, but I don't feel like we're sick more often than other families. However, multiple children are sick at the same time when they are sick and obviously that feels like chaos!
Does the NPR chart refer to a specific age of child? I feel like that lines up with what I've seen with young children, but I'd be surprised if it was the same across all ages from birth to 18.
I feel like I've been really lucky as a SAHM. My son is almost 3 and my daughter is seven months. He's been sick maybe 4 times in his whole life, and she's been sick once. I assume this series will get into it, but I feel like not being in daycare has been a huge advantage for us on the sickness front.
I agree with most of this. However, I have five kids and we are not sick most of the time (with the disclaimer that we have certainly gone through periods that felt like we were sick most of the time). In my experience, kids do seem to go through a period between preschool and Gr. 1 where they are sick a lot but they also seem to grow out of it/develop stronger immune systems/develop better hygiene habits. So, while it is a real problem during those periods, and I don’t mean to downplay any of the points you made, it’s not a forever problem, at least in my experience. The 87% statistic just seemed wildly off in my own personal experience and that of other of other larger families that I am acquainted with.
Wow! Great series!! I can’t wait to read more!! You have a real talent for finding the best topics to report on. At least, your interests coincide with mine.
I was sick so, so much when my kids were little. And they of course preferred me to care for them when they were young- which was so difficult, exactly as you have described. I’m very thankful my children no longer get sick so often, but the experience was hellish a few years ago.
So glad you’re tackling this topic! As a mother of a 2 month old and a 2.5 yo who we had to take out of daycare after recurrent colds caused repeated bronchiolitis requiring hospitalization, I agree this can’t be normal and does seem to be getting worse (at least as evidenced by colleagues with older kids who seem shocked at the frequency of illnesses we encounter, though maybe that’s their selective memory talking). One correction for you - I’m an employment lawyer so can confirm there is no universal/federal sick leave requirement in the US. Yes, larger employers (50+ employees) have to offer (unpaid) FMLA leave, but that expressly excludes leave for things like the flu or a common cold. Only certain states actually require any employer to offer any sort of sick leave at all, and even then it is sometimes limited to larger employers or might not always be paid. Or, it is offered in conjunction with general PTO for any reason, so parents have to use up that time on illness rather than take a vacation or mental health day, run personal errands or enjoy a holiday. Otherwise, in many (if not most) states, sick leave is something that is up to individual employers to choose to offer as a matter of policy. The lack of any mandated federal sick leave, like the lack of any mandated paid parental leave, is just one more way this country doesn’t support working families! (And I’ll note that a national sick leave requirement would help employers, too, who are currently stuck trying to navigate a morass of inconsistent state and local sick leave laws and at the same time address the practical issue of employees unable to come to work due to all these illnesses, especially those in roles with no remote work ability at all). Maybe one day…
I do wonder if it is worse post covid. Older adults do seem shocked at how often my family is sick as well. My oldest turned 2 in 2020 and my youngest was born in 2021. I’m curious if that cohort of kids gets sick more, or if there are just more viruses going around post quarantine. I keep thinking it’s going to get better and it isn’t really?
My two kids (currently 2 and 4 years old) are sick literally all winter, and neither are in daycare or school. It is literally just crap they pick up at church nursery once a week. Tuesday each week in the winter is like doomsday because it’s the dreaded 48 hour mark where one of my children inevitably succumbs to whatever bug is being passed around at church that week. I can’t wait for this series, I’ve never heard anyone else talk about this in any depth!
Oh wow, I am SO glad you are writing about this. My daughter just turned one, and for the first six months after she was born I would get horrible flu-like illnesses that would last 1-2 weeks, often with 102+ degree fevers lasting 3-5 DAYS at a time. One time I was so ill I almost passed out trying to cook dinner, and another time I was home alone with my 4 month old daughter so feverish I was basically having hallucinations. I tried and tried to talk to my doctor about this and he dismissed it as "well, you just get sick more often when you have a kid, your daughter is probably giving you stuff from daycare" meanwhile 1) my daughter has never gone to daycare, and 2) she was fully breastfed and has been sick twice in her entire life, once with a mild respiratory thing and once with a stomach bug. After the first six-eight months, I stopped getting the horrible fevers, but ever since then I have been getting monthly sinus infections that last 2-3 weeks at a time. I'm on the tail end of one now. And my daughter hasn't been sick since last year. I am BAFFLED, and no doctor is willing to hear me out that it might be something other than "oh you just get sick a lot when you have kids." This CAN'T be normal, and I would love to read more about this topic and anything at all that might help 😅 I'm so tired of living like this...
I’m so glad you are covering this topic! The first year my daughter was in preschool when she was three she was sick with a total of 17 illnesses! Most of them were colds but that 17 also included flu and Covid. And of course I got it every single time. She’s in first grade now, and maybe has had four colds this year? I’m so grateful it has slowed down!
Definitely part of the reason I only work part time. It’s a very special week when all 3 kids are in school all 5 days of the week, it only happens a few times a year(some of this is due to random days off, etc). My kids are 2, 4 and 7, and probably get sick less often than average.
My son being so sick as an infant from daycare definitely played a role in my leaving the workforce. Now he’s 4 and my daughter is 2yo. We were down for most of winter but 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻we’ve been good since then. My daughter is rarely sick she’s home with me but goes to gym childcare for 2hours a day 5-6x week I always assumed it’s bc we are still breastfeeding 🤱🏼
I am fascinated by this topic. My son isn't in a group setting yet, but we do take him to playgroups and activities. My husband and I were both out of action for basically January - March. Genuinely almost went insane. Looking forward to the second instalment!
I cannot imagine that hunter gatherers could function with the level of sickness that we experience with an 18 m.o. in daycare. We recently had a full month of being sick, and I felt the isolation so hard. I want to be respectful of other people and their health, but it just feels so impossible to be holed up as a nuclear family for that long with no help. Anyone who reads your writing regularly knows that this is not the human “norm” for child rearing.
Hunter gatherer parents have a lot of support though. My kids and I have been low key sick for a month now and this bout is not so bad. I don’t know what we have but it doesn’t really matter. I’d say I’m functioning at 90%. So if I were a gatherer, that would not slow me down very much.
The worst sickness we’ve ever had, we were staying with in laws (everyone had BAD RSV) and we weren’t all super sick at the same time. Just having more adults around made things a lot easier. Someone could hold a screaming baby while the others do chores or take a nap. Although I imagine the amount of time hunter gatherers spend outside, they’d rarely get as sick as we are. The kind of diseases we’re talking about don’t spread nearly as well outdoors.
Yes you’re right it isn’t normal. We’ve been in a pandemic for 5 years lol. Covid weakens the immune system leaving people vulnerable to catching and spreading other illnesses. And then we have kids and their parents packed into poorly ventilated buildings all day with zero protection in place. Studies show viral infections, as well as other harmful effects of indoor air pollution can be hugely reduced with very cheap simple measures such as air purifiers and even just keeping windows open lol. And more people wearing proper masks in hospitals, public toilets, supermarkets etc. all the information is there already we just need more people to care lol
Yeah I’ve seen some of the evidence on air purifiers in schools which seems really promising! And simple! I once visited a daycare center that had no windows. Every kids was obviously sick. I was like this is legal?
My grandma when she went to school and said that they always kept at least 1 window open in a classroom even in winter. And in their house, they always kept windows open to prevent spread of illness which seemed to help. My high school had a lot of classrooms with no windows, and the rooms with windows were not designed to be opened!
Wow that chart is WILD! I have seven kids and I'm scared to see what it would have for that line of the chart lol. But, the truth is, while I definitely notice a difference in viral illnesses in our home pre having children and post having children, I definitely don't notice my kids getting sick more often than families with fewer children. If anything I've noticed stronger immune systems in my kids and less instances of sickness as our family grows.
I also find that children with siblings fare way better in daycare than firstborns in not getting sick. My friends with less children share their experience of their children being sick every other week when they first start out at a new school. I think having babies that are exposed to siblings that already are bringing home everything in some ways makes the transition to daycare healthier and smoother.
Because I actually keep track of this for our family in a spreadsheet, I can tell you the breakdown this school year of days my kids were sick/missed school (this doesn't include a regular runny nose)
M (11yo female): Missed 0 days of school for illness, sick 0 times this year.
Z (9yo male): Missed 2 days of school for illness, sick 4 times this year.
A (7yo male) - Missed 0 days of school for illness, sick 3 times this year
E (5yo female) - Missed 1 day of school for illness, sick 1 time this year
C (4 yo male) - Missed 0 days of school for illness, sick 0 times this year (he has no tonsils or adenoids, I wonder if that's what protected him this year!)
A (2 yo female) - Missed 2 days of school for illness, sick 2 times this year
B (1 yo female) - Sick 3 times this year (all ear infections)
Maybe we are an anomaly, but I don't feel like we're sick more often than other families. However, multiple children are sick at the same time when they are sick and obviously that feels like chaos!
Does the NPR chart refer to a specific age of child? I feel like that lines up with what I've seen with young children, but I'd be surprised if it was the same across all ages from birth to 18.
I feel like I've been really lucky as a SAHM. My son is almost 3 and my daughter is seven months. He's been sick maybe 4 times in his whole life, and she's been sick once. I assume this series will get into it, but I feel like not being in daycare has been a huge advantage for us on the sickness front.
Daycare is a major factor. Breastfeeding also matters. I’ll get into all of this in the series.
I agree with most of this. However, I have five kids and we are not sick most of the time (with the disclaimer that we have certainly gone through periods that felt like we were sick most of the time). In my experience, kids do seem to go through a period between preschool and Gr. 1 where they are sick a lot but they also seem to grow out of it/develop stronger immune systems/develop better hygiene habits. So, while it is a real problem during those periods, and I don’t mean to downplay any of the points you made, it’s not a forever problem, at least in my experience. The 87% statistic just seemed wildly off in my own personal experience and that of other of other larger families that I am acquainted with.
Wow! Great series!! I can’t wait to read more!! You have a real talent for finding the best topics to report on. At least, your interests coincide with mine.
I was sick so, so much when my kids were little. And they of course preferred me to care for them when they were young- which was so difficult, exactly as you have described. I’m very thankful my children no longer get sick so often, but the experience was hellish a few years ago.
So glad you’re tackling this topic! As a mother of a 2 month old and a 2.5 yo who we had to take out of daycare after recurrent colds caused repeated bronchiolitis requiring hospitalization, I agree this can’t be normal and does seem to be getting worse (at least as evidenced by colleagues with older kids who seem shocked at the frequency of illnesses we encounter, though maybe that’s their selective memory talking). One correction for you - I’m an employment lawyer so can confirm there is no universal/federal sick leave requirement in the US. Yes, larger employers (50+ employees) have to offer (unpaid) FMLA leave, but that expressly excludes leave for things like the flu or a common cold. Only certain states actually require any employer to offer any sort of sick leave at all, and even then it is sometimes limited to larger employers or might not always be paid. Or, it is offered in conjunction with general PTO for any reason, so parents have to use up that time on illness rather than take a vacation or mental health day, run personal errands or enjoy a holiday. Otherwise, in many (if not most) states, sick leave is something that is up to individual employers to choose to offer as a matter of policy. The lack of any mandated federal sick leave, like the lack of any mandated paid parental leave, is just one more way this country doesn’t support working families! (And I’ll note that a national sick leave requirement would help employers, too, who are currently stuck trying to navigate a morass of inconsistent state and local sick leave laws and at the same time address the practical issue of employees unable to come to work due to all these illnesses, especially those in roles with no remote work ability at all). Maybe one day…
Ugh. And then all of the Swedes are commenting on my Instagram post like “oh we get unlimited sick days over here.” 😢
I do wonder if it is worse post covid. Older adults do seem shocked at how often my family is sick as well. My oldest turned 2 in 2020 and my youngest was born in 2021. I’m curious if that cohort of kids gets sick more, or if there are just more viruses going around post quarantine. I keep thinking it’s going to get better and it isn’t really?
My two kids (currently 2 and 4 years old) are sick literally all winter, and neither are in daycare or school. It is literally just crap they pick up at church nursery once a week. Tuesday each week in the winter is like doomsday because it’s the dreaded 48 hour mark where one of my children inevitably succumbs to whatever bug is being passed around at church that week. I can’t wait for this series, I’ve never heard anyone else talk about this in any depth!
Validating and depressing all at the same time. Is it true that the common cold didn’t exist prior to farming/keeping livestock?
It’s complicated! I’ll get into it in the next installment
Woah what?!
I read this as I am home sick with my 11 month old. We've canceled 2 social events this week because of it. Looking forward to the rest of the series!
This makes me feel seen! I am glad someone is looking into this!!!!! Parent of two kids and these numbers feel accurate to me!
Oh wow, I am SO glad you are writing about this. My daughter just turned one, and for the first six months after she was born I would get horrible flu-like illnesses that would last 1-2 weeks, often with 102+ degree fevers lasting 3-5 DAYS at a time. One time I was so ill I almost passed out trying to cook dinner, and another time I was home alone with my 4 month old daughter so feverish I was basically having hallucinations. I tried and tried to talk to my doctor about this and he dismissed it as "well, you just get sick more often when you have a kid, your daughter is probably giving you stuff from daycare" meanwhile 1) my daughter has never gone to daycare, and 2) she was fully breastfed and has been sick twice in her entire life, once with a mild respiratory thing and once with a stomach bug. After the first six-eight months, I stopped getting the horrible fevers, but ever since then I have been getting monthly sinus infections that last 2-3 weeks at a time. I'm on the tail end of one now. And my daughter hasn't been sick since last year. I am BAFFLED, and no doctor is willing to hear me out that it might be something other than "oh you just get sick a lot when you have kids." This CAN'T be normal, and I would love to read more about this topic and anything at all that might help 😅 I'm so tired of living like this...
I’m so glad you are covering this topic! The first year my daughter was in preschool when she was three she was sick with a total of 17 illnesses! Most of them were colds but that 17 also included flu and Covid. And of course I got it every single time. She’s in first grade now, and maybe has had four colds this year? I’m so grateful it has slowed down!
Definitely part of the reason I only work part time. It’s a very special week when all 3 kids are in school all 5 days of the week, it only happens a few times a year(some of this is due to random days off, etc). My kids are 2, 4 and 7, and probably get sick less often than average.
My son being so sick as an infant from daycare definitely played a role in my leaving the workforce. Now he’s 4 and my daughter is 2yo. We were down for most of winter but 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻we’ve been good since then. My daughter is rarely sick she’s home with me but goes to gym childcare for 2hours a day 5-6x week I always assumed it’s bc we are still breastfeeding 🤱🏼
I am fascinated by this topic. My son isn't in a group setting yet, but we do take him to playgroups and activities. My husband and I were both out of action for basically January - March. Genuinely almost went insane. Looking forward to the second instalment!
I cannot imagine that hunter gatherers could function with the level of sickness that we experience with an 18 m.o. in daycare. We recently had a full month of being sick, and I felt the isolation so hard. I want to be respectful of other people and their health, but it just feels so impossible to be holed up as a nuclear family for that long with no help. Anyone who reads your writing regularly knows that this is not the human “norm” for child rearing.
Hunter gatherer parents have a lot of support though. My kids and I have been low key sick for a month now and this bout is not so bad. I don’t know what we have but it doesn’t really matter. I’d say I’m functioning at 90%. So if I were a gatherer, that would not slow me down very much.
The worst sickness we’ve ever had, we were staying with in laws (everyone had BAD RSV) and we weren’t all super sick at the same time. Just having more adults around made things a lot easier. Someone could hold a screaming baby while the others do chores or take a nap. Although I imagine the amount of time hunter gatherers spend outside, they’d rarely get as sick as we are. The kind of diseases we’re talking about don’t spread nearly as well outdoors.