I’m a Bio Anth grad in the UK and now mum of two. At this point in my motherhood ‘journey’ I’ve found that society just sets mothers up to fail. Growing up it’s following the narrative of - study and go to university, don’t have sex you’ll get pregnant, get a job work hard, get house etc. Then you reach motherhood somehow not having any experience of caring for younger children or forgetting because we all just work or study. And that’s paired with no one telling you about the complexities of birth, infertility, infant feeding and sleep. Then it hits you like a freight train and your knee deep with no inherent village but you need to go find/make your own all whilst navigating sleep deprivation and domestic life.
I love anthropology for the insights it can give us to mend our society using social comparisons with h-g. But applying changes to western culture takes so much collective action from all women e.g. countries like Poland and Iceland where women have gone on strike to make political change on abortion. (more on the political end of the spectrum of action). But there’s also the inherent social expectations we all carry around with us that has arisen since the Industrial Revolution, that would require change. And within our wider evolutionary history that is a very very small part and seems plausible in that sense. That would probably mean changing our economic structures which is a tough one to crack.
Yeah the issues are so deeply systemic and complex - it’s going to take a long time to make change. I don’t even know if I consider myself an activist. I think mostly I just want to understand how we got here.
I just finished Nightbitch and Matrescence by Lucy Jones, and I feel like both adequately encapsulate the bizarre and visceral transformation of motherhood. I agree that Nightbitch focuses more on the mothers transformation/loss of self, and doesn’t really address the lack of community we’re all facing. That community is something I am so desperately trying to cultivate/find for myself, for my son, for my family; and sometimes I feel that visceral maternal animal wants to scream at how difficult it is to do. On the note of wild dogs and their societies - one of the earliest maternal influences I read about while I was pregnant (way before I got my hands on Emily Oster or any of the others,) was a book about the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone National Park. The book is called American Wolf, and it follows one matriarch, O-six, and her packs journey & struggles as they acclimate to Yellowstone. It’s fantastic, and I certainly didn’t expect it influence me so much in regards to how I approach motherhood, but it radically did.
That sounds fascinating! I have to read it. Most of my deeper research to date has focused on hunter gatherer human societies but I want to go deeper on motherhood in the animal world. There are so many interesting models of motherhood in nature.
I also feel there is this really interesting mythical relationship in the literature between human women and wolves. Maybe it’s not an accident. I love the movie Princess Mononoke. I also love the song Wolf by First Aid Kit. All of these wolf and dog references just keep popping up!
Yessssss also I think about the myth of Romulus and Remus being raised by a wolf a lot nowadays, particularly a statue of the mother wolf nursing them. I love reading about your research, it’s really enlightening to view motherhood/community/parenthood through the Hunter gatherer lens.
Just watched this movie and was amazed at how well it shows the early years of being home alone with a toddler. However, the way she immediately jumps back into making art and has a major show in a high profile space with only her weekends off, SORRY!! Very Hollywood. And then everything is better. I don't buy that, being an artist myself and raising two kids on my own.
Okay I just finished the book and as is always the case it is SO MUCH BETTER. And also way more surreal, bizarre, and crazy. Magical realism meets motherhood. The movie is very true to the first part of the book but the endings diverge dramatically. They definitely Hollywood-ized it. In the book her animal persona and real persona merge and it turns into this bizarre performance piece. There’s so split with her husband and no BS about creating an equal partnership to save the day. It’s much more about her inner transformation and her relationship with other women.
I love your work! And a lot of what brought me to it was this feeling that this just can’t be how we have always done it. Something I have been thinking about a lot as someone who works in the birth space and also who is now pregnant is how did morning sickness show up in our past or in hunter/gatherer societies? Is it something that has gotten worse or is it something we have always had to deal with? Really curious if you have any insight on this. Thank you again for what you do!!
It’s thought to be an evolved response to protect the fetus from pathogens especially in the first trimester and is reported in most hunter gatherer societies
Just watched Nightbitch tonight with my sister, 10 years my younger and no kids. I bawled, she held me, she bawled and expressed fear for kids in the future. I’ve been reading your posts for awhile and this is my first comment, but this information you write on occupies a large part of my brain on a daily basis, and I’m so grateful to have it to chew on.
100% keen for social revolution.
I’m a Bio Anth grad in the UK and now mum of two. At this point in my motherhood ‘journey’ I’ve found that society just sets mothers up to fail. Growing up it’s following the narrative of - study and go to university, don’t have sex you’ll get pregnant, get a job work hard, get house etc. Then you reach motherhood somehow not having any experience of caring for younger children or forgetting because we all just work or study. And that’s paired with no one telling you about the complexities of birth, infertility, infant feeding and sleep. Then it hits you like a freight train and your knee deep with no inherent village but you need to go find/make your own all whilst navigating sleep deprivation and domestic life.
I love anthropology for the insights it can give us to mend our society using social comparisons with h-g. But applying changes to western culture takes so much collective action from all women e.g. countries like Poland and Iceland where women have gone on strike to make political change on abortion. (more on the political end of the spectrum of action). But there’s also the inherent social expectations we all carry around with us that has arisen since the Industrial Revolution, that would require change. And within our wider evolutionary history that is a very very small part and seems plausible in that sense. That would probably mean changing our economic structures which is a tough one to crack.
Sorry ramble over.
Yeah the issues are so deeply systemic and complex - it’s going to take a long time to make change. I don’t even know if I consider myself an activist. I think mostly I just want to understand how we got here.
I just finished Nightbitch and Matrescence by Lucy Jones, and I feel like both adequately encapsulate the bizarre and visceral transformation of motherhood. I agree that Nightbitch focuses more on the mothers transformation/loss of self, and doesn’t really address the lack of community we’re all facing. That community is something I am so desperately trying to cultivate/find for myself, for my son, for my family; and sometimes I feel that visceral maternal animal wants to scream at how difficult it is to do. On the note of wild dogs and their societies - one of the earliest maternal influences I read about while I was pregnant (way before I got my hands on Emily Oster or any of the others,) was a book about the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone National Park. The book is called American Wolf, and it follows one matriarch, O-six, and her packs journey & struggles as they acclimate to Yellowstone. It’s fantastic, and I certainly didn’t expect it influence me so much in regards to how I approach motherhood, but it radically did.
That sounds fascinating! I have to read it. Most of my deeper research to date has focused on hunter gatherer human societies but I want to go deeper on motherhood in the animal world. There are so many interesting models of motherhood in nature.
I also feel there is this really interesting mythical relationship in the literature between human women and wolves. Maybe it’s not an accident. I love the movie Princess Mononoke. I also love the song Wolf by First Aid Kit. All of these wolf and dog references just keep popping up!
The book Women Who Run With the Wolves
Yessssss also I think about the myth of Romulus and Remus being raised by a wolf a lot nowadays, particularly a statue of the mother wolf nursing them. I love reading about your research, it’s really enlightening to view motherhood/community/parenthood through the Hunter gatherer lens.
Just watched this movie and was amazed at how well it shows the early years of being home alone with a toddler. However, the way she immediately jumps back into making art and has a major show in a high profile space with only her weekends off, SORRY!! Very Hollywood. And then everything is better. I don't buy that, being an artist myself and raising two kids on my own.
Okay I just finished the book and as is always the case it is SO MUCH BETTER. And also way more surreal, bizarre, and crazy. Magical realism meets motherhood. The movie is very true to the first part of the book but the endings diverge dramatically. They definitely Hollywood-ized it. In the book her animal persona and real persona merge and it turns into this bizarre performance piece. There’s so split with her husband and no BS about creating an equal partnership to save the day. It’s much more about her inner transformation and her relationship with other women.
I love your work! And a lot of what brought me to it was this feeling that this just can’t be how we have always done it. Something I have been thinking about a lot as someone who works in the birth space and also who is now pregnant is how did morning sickness show up in our past or in hunter/gatherer societies? Is it something that has gotten worse or is it something we have always had to deal with? Really curious if you have any insight on this. Thank you again for what you do!!
It’s thought to be an evolved response to protect the fetus from pathogens especially in the first trimester and is reported in most hunter gatherer societies
Just watched Nightbitch tonight with my sister, 10 years my younger and no kids. I bawled, she held me, she bawled and expressed fear for kids in the future. I’ve been reading your posts for awhile and this is my first comment, but this information you write on occupies a large part of my brain on a daily basis, and I’m so grateful to have it to chew on.
OK, now I really need to see this movie (started the book, but felt uncomfortably like reading about my own life, so am yet to finish... )